Red Flags

The below items Are things to look out for. Not all of them may mean someone isn't been honest with you. They are things to definitely look out for and use caution about.

**The person you are chatting with gets disconnected often, grant it some ISP's totally suck and do that but I think there is a limit and you can tell. If this is happening a lot most likely he/she is quickly leaving because a significant other has come into the room. This is one of the red flags that I ignored many years ago, my first online love who ended up being married.

**Someone suggested that if you have a date set up and the person cancels at
the last possible minute with no reason and when you call they do not answer
the phone. This CAN be a red flag but to always. If it happens more than once then I would begin to wonder but if it happens only one time I would give them person the benefit of the doubt.

**If the person you are interested in tells you they want to keep this a secret ("this" being that the two of you are an couple), then that's a red flag that maybe this person has others.

**If he/she asks for your phone # but won't give you his/hers or only gives you their work # or voice mail #. There should be no reason that you cannot call them at home if they are truly single. Also, if he/she tell you that you can only call him/her at work or at certain times, red flag!

Added on by a member; another one on the phone thingy....."I'll give you my
cell phone # cause my calls are free"......uh huh.....#1. If you're calling them, and it's local, it's free anyway. #2 If it's long distance, you're still going to pay a long distance fee even if they have free cell phone service.

**If he/she is flirting quite a bit in a chat room or playing kissy face with someone and they tell you they are only goofing around, red flag!

**Often times when someone says they are married but "separated", beware! To
many times that means they are VERY married.

**Sometimes a loser will leave the channel/chat room when you enter it. Then they tell you something like, I want to concentrate on talking to you only. Also when you are talking to them and they claim to be "only" talking to you but yet
they take a long time to answer simple question or to take a long time to respond to something you said and they only typed a few words. Most likely they are talking to someone else too. Of course innocent chat is cool but if it's innocent chat then why lie about it??

**If others often come into the channel looking for the person, that's a very big red flag! I have seen so many players get busted this way.

**Never hearing from someone you are involved with on the weekends is a red
flag that possible they are married or living with someone.

**If the word "discreet" is ever used, oh boy! IMHO if someone wants to be discreet, they are hiding something.

**If after only one or two chats the two of you seem to have SOOO much in
common, be careful! Watch your first few convos carefully. Don't volunteer to much info, YOU do most of the question asking. If you are volunteering to much info it’s to easy for the person to say, Oh me too! I love that, or So did I, or I absolutely feel the same way about that. Its great to have a lot in common but it’s best to be sure they just aren't feeding off of what you are telling them.

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These are more for a relationship that has gone to real time and are possible signs the relationship is about to end or something definitely isn't right.

***You have been talking about going somewhere like maybe a vacation together. When you want to finalize plans your partner avoids it. Not wanting to finalize the plans and even purchase the tickets or whatever might be needed for wherever you were planning on going is a sign him/her is thinking they aren't going to be around, probably going to end the relationship.

***When in public he/she walks ahead for you or even behind you. This person
does not want to be seen with you! There could be several reasons why, he/she has a wife/husband somewhere, has other gf's/bf's or even plans on looking for another gf/bf.

***Arguing more often especially if the enjoyable kissing and making up isn't there anymore.

***Phone tag is beginning to be an every day thing.

***Extreme moodiness. There is definitely something on the persons mind. Grant it it could have nothing to do with the relationship but if the person tells you its nothing or flat out does not want to discuss what's bothering them, it might just have something to do with you.


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Words of advice; A good thing to do is to get into the habit of talking to others, ask around about the person you are interested in or involved with. Don't fall into the trap of wanting to keep who you are interested in or involved with a secret because you are to afraid someone might snatch him or her up. If they can be snatched away that easily, you don't want them. Think about it, no one is going to be able to take someone away from anyone if they are with who they want to be with. It's better to know right away that they are talking to others as well as you. Now mind you talking to others as well as you is NOT the problem, it's the contents of the conversations. Women talk to other women about the men more than the men talk to other men about the women. I think that's why it seem there are more men "players" than women players.

Save logs of conversations, mainly the first several conversations. I do this and have been accused of doing it to use it against people. I do it so I can look back and see if their are any discrepancies if I should get suspicious about something. I have caught them in lies this way.

"Bottom line.....if you think you're being handed a line.....chances are....you are right."